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The Boring Thread

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ZenCat   Mar 23rd 2012 16:59

Your reply is too short, and therefore not boring enough. What you could have replied with instead was something like this:

I read the vast majority of your message, as I thought it was going to be a fake type of boring which actually turns out to be entertaining. Instead, I found it to actually be boring, and not just normal boring, or even very boring, but r e a l l y boring. I was so r e a l l y bored that I failed to read the message in its entirety. Instead, I read the last section in a skip-read fashion, much like someone would if they were quickly browsing through the news items in a boring newspaper, just to get a general idea of what it is about. An example of a boring news item in a boring newspaper would be a boring news item describing a man who has woken up, then got out of bed, then gone downstairs and made his breakfast and then eaten his breakfast, and then then gone into the bathroom to squeeze out the solid waste matter remaining from the previous day's food intake, followed by a period of time spent cleaning his entire body with a jet of water from an appliance above his head, followed by driving to work to spend all day sat at a desk writing boring reports about very boring things to other boring people, and then having a boring lunch of boring sandwiches made entirely of bread encased in more bread, but two different types of bread, you know, a brown slice sandwiched between two white slices. then the man would get back to work, and spend the afternoon writing more boring letters to boring people, before driving home the boring way (as opposed to the exciting way, which all the non-boring people drive, with their loud music and smoking and so on), and then arriving home to eat a boring dinner of boiled cardboard, before spending the entire evening entirely fascinated with the living room wall.

That would have been a fantastic reply, but instead you took the easy route and wrote a short reply which wasn't anywhere near as boring. This puts you quite low on the ZenCat Boring Scale of Boring Boringness. Number 10 on the ZenCat Boring Scale of Boring Boringness is probably a piece of MDF alone in an empty car park in a business park on a grey Sunday afternoon in November. Number 0 on the ZenCat Boring Scale of Boring Boringness would probably be something along the lines of a clown breakdancing on a mountain top to Hardcore Belgian Trance while a lazer light show blasts around the entire mountain scenery at night while various comets fly through the sky and aliens come down to earth and impregnant the squirrels. You are probably about a 3 on the ZenCat Boring Scale of Boring Boringness. You could do a lot better. You really need to put more effort in.

"In Wotton from '72 to '83 and from 2003 onwards" : Click for more details
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Robobok   Mar 23rd 2012 17:57

I read the vast majority of your message, as I thought it was going to be a fake type of boring which actually turns out to be entertaining. Instead, I found it to actually be boring, and not just normal boring, or even very boring, but r e a l l y boring. I was so r e a l l y bored that I failed to read the message in its entirety. Instead, I read the last section in a skip-read fashion, much like someone would if they were quickly browsing through the news items in a boring newspaper, just to get a general idea of what it is about. An example of a boring news item in a boring newspaper would be a boring news item describing a man who has woken up, then got out of bed, then gone downstairs and made his breakfast and then eaten his breakfast, and then then gone into the bathroom to squeeze out the solid waste matter remaining from the previous day's food intake, followed by a period of time spent cleaning his entire body with a jet of water from an appliance above his head, followed by driving to work to spend all day sat at a desk writing boring reports about very boring things to other boring people, and then having a boring lunch of boring sandwiches made entirely of bread encased in more bread, but two different types of bread, you know, a brown slice sandwiched between two white slices. then the man would get back to work, and spend the afternoon writing more boring letters to boring people, before driving home the boring way (as opposed to the exciting way, which all the non-boring people drive, with their loud music and smoking and so on), and then arriving home to eat a boring dinner of boiled cardboard, before spending the entire evening entirely fascinated with the living room wall.

P.S. I tried to make a word out of the initials from 'ZenCat Boring Scale of Boring Boringness'. But I couldn't.

7/10?

wink

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Chandrasekar   Mar 24th 2012 05:39

Can you guys just give a summary of what you've been prattling on about? I haven't got the energy to read either of the above posts, or indeed Zen's earlier posts. I think someone is doing a poo in one of yours, aren't they Zen? Disqualified.

Anyway, I think you have both bent the rules a little, firstly by just going for length of post, and secondly by not putting in paragraphs.

Which can be helpful.

As long as they are not.

Overused.

But I digress. I think there should be a competition for the most boring line of text, so that it is more than a challenge. I think then you have to describe something boring, rather than actually being boring oneself just through sheer length of post.

For example, how about:

Roger has spent all of the last 23 years looking at the underside of a white paper plate.

Beat that.


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ZenCat   Mar 24th 2012 10:04

You post was far too exciting, Chand. I almost couldn't cope with it.

I think I need to lie down now...

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ZenCat   May 18th 2012 18:45

Nothing has happened today.

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Robobok   May 21st 2012 12:19

Yes it has - we've just had a new carpet laid in the front room. Which I suppose is rather boring in itself...

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Wolfie   May 22nd 2012 07:06

My vote for the category "Most boring book ever" goes to that mind numbingly sleep inducing book the Highway code.

Zero sex, zero violence, and no plot

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BobsBoy47   May 22nd 2012 08:55

Boring it may be, but if the content is heeded and used in the right way, it's the doorway to independence and adventures well beyond those few pages.......


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Robobok   May 22nd 2012 15:30

Before my test I learnt the Highway Code virtually word for word (or symbol for symbol). Perhaps we could meet up and I could regale you with an interesting recital of said topic?

(should be boring enough for this thread)

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ZenCat   May 22nd 2012 15:35

Or maybe you could collabrate with Chand about putting on a lecture on the topic?

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